Week 20. I cannot believe I am already approximately halfway through this pregnancy! Time has absolutely flown by!
I have to say, in comparison to my pregnancy with Roree, my back is killing me WAY more than it was with her, far earlier. I know it mostly has to do with me constantly lifting her, but jeesh! The next 20 or so weeks seem a little daunting thinking about the pain I’m already in!
Roree had her 18 month well check appointment on Thursday. She is in the 50-60th percentile in all categories and very healthy! Definitely something to be thankful for.
We spent the weekend with my parents and it was a tad rough for her adjusting to sleeping somewhere new, but not horrible. Night weaning is still a process for us, even though she hasn’t nursed at night for several weeks now, she occasionally wakes at 2am asking for “boo.” My mom was an amazing help on the nights JT wasn’t with us. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she wasn’t there!
It’s only Monday and I’ve forgotten about half of what happened last week already. Pregnant brain + mom brain is not a good combination. Especially in conjunction with typical Bri brain.
Earlier in the week, we were playing outside with Roree in the evening (something we do nearly every evening as it tends to keep her from getting TOO cranky) and we decided to get some chores done while we were out there.
Roree helped me clean out my car by dumping all the old water bottles onto Captain Doodle Tree (that’s what JT named the tree we planted in our front yard since we have ZERO trees in our yard!). And yes, I had, like, 6 half-gone bottles of water in my car, so it kept her busy as I cleaned it out.
We then randomly decided to trim the bushes. Roree helped with this as well. She picked up all the big branches that were trimmed and threw them away. We ended up being outside for quite awhile. so long, in fact, that Roree started asking to go to bed!
At work on Wednesday, I was able to sit in on some rehearsals for Cabaret Night at my school. We have so many ridiculously talented kids that it honestly felt like I didn’t even work at all. I got to just sit back, enjoy music and snap some pictures of the rehearsals. I’m SO excited about the event!
My sister wasn’t able to watch Roree Thursday, so my parents came up Thursday morning after her Dr appointment and brought her back to their house where I met them and ended up staying until Sunday.
It’s always nice staying at their house because I get to rest a bit since my mom always plays and holds Roree (to the point where I’m pretty sure Roree didn’t walk at all those days because my mom was holding her the entire time!) and they make me food
Saturday and Sunday were pretty busy days for me. I had a lot planned in the Tampa area, so staying with my parents ended up working out really well.
Saturday I hit up EcoFest with some friends. I was able to go Roree-free since my parents and JT could watch her. Normally, I would bring her to these types of things (I brought her to this same event last year), but since I’m pregnant and my back hurts when I carry her for too long, now, I decided against it. If JT were with me (and if she tolerated a stroller for more than 2 seconds), I definitely would have brought her.
There were a lot of great vendors and I ended up purchasing some delicious gluten free cookies before I left a bit early to make it to a good friend’s baby shower.
It was nice seeing friends I don’t get to see too often since I moved away and it was such a beautiful shower. It got me excited for new baby things for Violet, though I don’t need much!
Sunday was me and JT’s 6th anniversary. We had plans to go out to dinner, but we found out that his cousins (whom he hadn’t seen in 10 years!) were in town, so we headed over there for brunch instead.
In celebration of our anniversary, we had take out as a picnic dinner in the middle of our living room with Roree. I would have preferred something like… The Melting Pot… but maybe next year!
It’s going to be Easter weekend! I have a nice long weekend coming up since I have Friday and Monday off for Easter, and of course I filled those days with fun activities (like I like to do with any day off that I come across).
Friday we are redeeming some passes I won at an auction (that raised money for my school) and I’m taking Roree to the Glazer Museum with some friends. Afterwards I’m SUPER excited to hit up the first Trader Joe’s in Tampa! I heard it is ridiculously busy ALWAYS, but also totally worth it.
Friday night JT is having some friends over, so I may hang with my sister… or just go to bed early. We’ll see!
Saturday we are celebrating Easter with my family. We’ll be doing an egg hunt for all the kids and having lunch. Chances are we’ll end up staying there all day since we have to wait until Roree’s nap/bed times to attempt any long drives. (She was born hating the car.)
Easter Sunday, I’m meeting up with a few friends for an Easter Egg hunt with JUST us. Community Easter Egg hunts get CRAZY around here. You have the psycho parents who are shoving kids out of the way and yelling at their kids to get eggs, you have kids who are much older snatching eggs from little kids… it is chaos and TOTALLY not worth it. Not to mention all the eggs are full of candy that I wouldn’t give to Roree anyway.
Instead, my friends and I will fill the eggs with non-candy items and healthier snack options and it’ll be just us.
I lost Sunshine at my parents’ house! Wahhh! I wasn’t really getting into it anyway, so I plan on digging through my To Read shelf and picking out a book after this post.
Say Something by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera … a couple of the students are performing this song at the Cabaret Night and it got me hooked on it again!
Weird things I’ve said this week (because I’m a mom)
“Yeah! That’s your butt! Where’s mama’s butt? Where’s dada’s butt? Good job!”
What was your week like?
Today has been quite eventful. Why I am still awake when Roree is sleeping peacefully in the other room, I do not know… No, actually, I DO know. My friend is hosting a Jamberry Nails party and I’m trying not to spend a bajillion dollars on these awesome things!
Anyway, Sunday I’ll (hopefully) post more about what I’ve been up to, but for now… here is some Friday ♥s for you:
Temporary Tattoo made with a sharpie & liquid band aid
They use this for kids, saying “if lost, call…” Not sure how I feel about that, but I’d love to have a talented friend doodle on me and I get to have a fun temporary tattoo for a day!
What is the shelf life of your food?
Since I’m a total nut case when it comes to expiration dates, this was a great little pin!
Awesome Gender reveal
DANG IT! Why didn’t I do this?
Remove toenail polish when you don’t want to ruin your manicure
LMAO!! Genius and hilarious, all at the same time.
March Favorites from MaieDae
I know, she was on here last week, but I’m loving Savannah’s March picks! I can’t wait to try out the lip gloss and pick up (or at least smell) the candle!
How I Amassed a 400oz Breastmilk Stash from Babyzone
I love this and will be referring back to it once Violet arrives!
How to Raise Chickens for Beginners Part One from How Does She
I want chickens SO BAD! As if it was a sign, I saw chickens and a coop at the EcoFest today!!
Calm Your Anxiety from Heart and Habit
I have some go-tos for calming my anxiety and these are great tips!
“There is a voice inside all of us that sings a brave little song. If you can’t hear yours, find your volume button and turn it up.” – Tiffanie DeBartolo
“So rapid is the flight of dreams upon the wings of imagination.” — Alexandre Dumas
“Books. People have no idea how beautiful books are. How they taste on your fingers. How bright everything is when you light it with words.” — Rachel Kadish,Tolstoy Lied: A Love Story
What are you loving this week?
Today was one of those days that feel like Fridays… except, it’s Thursday. This is a sad revelation.
Despite my unFriday, I am still very thankful for many things… here are just a few:
Yesterday, it was gorgeous outside in the evening, so after dinner when Roree brought my shoes to me and put them on me (seriously), I took the hint. JT headed outside with us because we needed to put some stuff in the attic, anyway. We checked the mail (one of Roree’s favorite chores), I was able to clean my trunk with Roree’s help and she also helped us throw away the trimmings from the bushes outside of our front door.
I certainly hope this doesn’t jinx us, but I am very thankful for my family’s health despite the yucky flu that was recently going around. 4 people I work closely with were sick recently and I somehow managed to sneak by without getting sick myself or bringing it home to Roree. I thank, largely, doTerra Essential Oils – particularly On Guard and The Bomb. General health is something I am thankful for every day, but I thought it was worth mentioning today.
Roree’s Well Check appointment was today and she is very healthy – in the 55-60 percentile in all categories!
I got the opportunity to sit in on some rehearsals for an upcoming show at my school for a blog post I will be doing about it and it was as if I took the day off to enjoy some nice music from talented people. Despite having woken up at 3;45am and being ridiculously tired, I enjoyed the entire day.
I took some pictures over in the 5th and 6th Grade Suite today (our students raised over $900 in CHANGE for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (link) and they were having an Olive Garden celebration. I was just thinking about Olive Garden salads earlier in the morning for no apparent reason (besides pregnancy) and they offered some to me since they had extra. Perfect timing because I forgot my lunch!
I’m staying with my parents from tonight through the weekend since my sister wasn’t able to watch Roree today. They were nice enough to drive all the way over, pick Roree up and drive her all the way back so that I could meet them at their house after work. (My job is about half way to their house). Roree loves spending time with them, she asks about “PopPop” which is universal for “PopPop and Grandma” all week long. She loves her time with RiRi and my parents equally. It really helps with the guilt of working full time.
Guilt is a powerful, horrible feeling. I’d say, probably within the Top 5 Worst Feelings Ever.
Mother’s guilt? A bajillion times worse.
While Violette wasn’t exactly a surprise, she wasn’t exactly planned, either. It was that whole preventing, but not really preventing kind of deal.
Ideally, we were going to wait until Roree had self-weaned, was sleeping through the night and in her own room. I also wouldn’t have minded NOT being massively pregnant in the scorching heat of summer.
But, fate had other plans, as it often does when you make your own.
From the moment that plus sign appeared and I saw the grin on JT’s face, I can’t say that I had the same reaction that I did when I found out I was pregnant with Roree, but it was surprisingly similar considering this was what I was pretty certain I wanted.
My first thought went straight to Roree.
She is what my world revolves around, after all and I realized, as much as I loved being pregnant and I loved having an itty bitty baby – and I missed all those things – I couldn’t help but feel like I was failing Roree somehow.
I would be feeling worn out and maybe even too sick and exhausted to play with her.
My milk could dry up and she’d miss out on her very favorite thing before she was ready.
She wouldn’t have 100% of my attention anymore.
My heart ached for all the things I felt I was taking away from the person I loved more than anything.
When nursing became painful and I ended up coming to the decision to night wean, the guilt was almost unbearable.
It was the first step, I felt, to failing her.
I would nurse her at night, knowing that this time was limited, and cry thinking about it. It was hard enough accepting that she is getting older.
One thing I’m not terribly proud of is how hard it was to connect to Violette initially. It surprised me how quickly I connected to Roree when I was pregnant with her, but with Violette it took a lot longer.
The pregnancy somehow was a reminder that I would never be pregnant with Roree again, I’d never have Roree as a newborn or infant again… that those precious, sacred moments were gone.
And then it hit me… how much worse would it be, if I spent this entire pregnancy mourning the things that Roree wouldn’t have anymore and not living in every single moment, appreciating every phase of pregnancy with this baby, when I know I would look back on them and wish I could rewind to these exact moments I was passing by?
I know that the second Violette is in my arms, suddenly my heart will grow to accommodate love for both little girls. Her time in my belly is just as short and just as irreplaceable as Roree’s was. Same as her time as a newborn and same as her time as an infant.
Not to mention, while having my back turned on the present to long for the past, I was completely missing out on Roree’s toddlerhood which is just as short as every other phase of her life.
Now, at almost 20 weeks pregnant, I’m finally over the hump of guilt and really starting to bond with Violette, especially now that I can feel her move.
Most of all, I’m excited for Roree to have a sibling.
After all, my life would not be as incredible as it is without mine.
Momfriends: What are some of your most mom-guilty moments?
All things Easter!
My Foundation Routine by MaieDae
I love watching other people’s make up routines and implementing some of their techniques into my own. I used to spend a lot more time on my make up, but these days I typically use a very quick 5 min routine.
Knotted Baby Head Tie with Free Pattern by How Does She
One day when I get back to using my sewing machine, I will make these for Roree and I!
Homemade Journals by A Beautiful Mess
I’m a Journal Whore. I am super picky when it comes to buying journals, but I am TOTALLY willing to make my own!
“One day, you realise that there are some people you’ll never see again. At least, not in the same way.” – i wrote this for you
“Sleep is such a gracious thief. It steals my time, but gives me strength.” —Redemption, Adeste
“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” — Eckhart Tolle
What are you loving this week?